Many of us still find it challenging to admit that we need help because we are brought up in a society that promotes independence and “doing it yourself”. As a result, we are made to feel ashamed or “weak” when we reach out for support, especially if this is the professional kind. People will often try a list of strategies, such as reading self-help books, posting vulnerable questions anonymously, and looking for advice on social media, before they consider getting professional help. While these strategies can be helpful and valid, they are often not enough, and many people wait to fall apart before getting in touch with a professional. However, it doesn’t have to be this way and this short article will hopefully empower you to reach out for the support you need (without hitting rock-bottom first).

*Please note that for this article, I will use the term ‘coaching’ but this information can also apply to other forms of professional help, such as counselling or therapy. 

Like any journey, starting coaching can be filled with unknowns, questions, and worries, but these should not be holding you back from getting the guidance you deserve so that you can thrive.

Here are some signposts to help you start taking the first steps:

• Is the fear of being stigmatised stopping you? If it is, acknowledge it and reframe coaching in a way that feels helpful to you. For example, if you’re okay with seeing a personal trainer to work towards your fitness goals, could you reframe seeing a coach as a way of achieving your life, relationship, or career goals?

• Make sure you are doing it for yourself. If you have been told to do it or are doing it to please someone else, you are unlikely to get the best out of the process. So be honest and ask yourself whether you truly want to be coached and if the answer is yes, be clear about why you want it and what you are hoping to achieve from it.

• Do not wait until you have hit an all-time low. Addressing challenges and obstacles early on can prevent them from progressing into more serious difficulties, such as burnout or mental health issues.

• Invest some time in researching the right coach for you and accept that it might take a couple of tries. If you don’t know where to start, check out this 8 step guide on finding the right coach for you.

• Communicate to your coach your hopes and expectations. They are not mindreaders so the more information you can provide them, the likelier they are to try to meet your needs and preferences (or refer you to someone who can). Also, if you’re unsure ask them questions. A good coach will welcome questions and try to answer them or help you come to your own insights and conclusions.

• Be honest and transparent. It is difficult to be vulnerable with a stranger but the role of a coach is to provide you with a safe and non-judgemental space where you can be 100% yourself. So once you feel that you have a strong and trusting relationship, try not to let the fear of judgement or shame hold you back from talking about the things that matter. More often than not, it’s in these conversations that the real magic happens.

• Remember that you are not trapped so you can always change, stop, or pause if it is no longer helpful. I would always recommend discussing this with your coach beforehand to explore why you feel this way and whether there is anything that can be done to make the process more effective and enjoyable for you.

• Lastly, it is not an easy journey but it might be a life-changing one.

Interested in working together? Here you can find out more about the coaching & counselling that I offer.