How to look after your wellbeing during the lockdown
Feeling exhausted?
It’s November 2020 and in the Netherlands, we are in the midst of the second wave of Covid-19 and back in lockdown. This wave feels more like a tsunami and, with 2021 fast approaching, it is clear that this pandemic is not going away soon. However, many of us are surprised that things are feeling harder rather than easier. After all, shouldn’t we be like pro-surfers by now, skillfully riding the waves and thriving in this “new normal”?
Quite simply, no. Surfers choose to go out and surf, it comes from a place of enjoyment and wanting. We, in contrast, need to ride the waves out of necessity and it has been imposed on us. This difference might seem small, but psychologically it is significant. Autonomy (the ability to make choices for ourselves) is a basic psychological need. When restricted it can lead to a lack of motivation and unhappiness.
Another difference is that a surfer chooses under what conditions and for how long he goes out on the water. When he is tired he can just hop off his board and go home for a warm shower. In contrast, the conditions around us are constantly changing and we don’t know when this will end. This uncertainty is the exact opposite of what we crave as human beings: security and stability. We want to feel safe and free from threat (actual or perceived). So when these are undermined we feel stressed, anxious, and powerless.
Socially the surfer is also better off: after his nice warm shower, he can have dinner with his friends. However, after months of social isolation or limited social contact, many of us are experiencing loneliness. People with preexisting mental health conditions might be especially affected if they were already lonely prior to lockdown. Loneliness has been linked to poorer physical and mental health, and these, in turn, can impact someone’s resilience and ability to cope. Also, the fear of losing someone (or something ) is emotionally draining. For many, this might also be consciously or subconsciously triggering memories of past painful experiences.
Lastly, the timing of this lockdown might also make things harder. Winter means less daylight and even fewer opportunities to go outdoors. Many people are also worried about what will happen during the holiday season and whether they will be able to celebrate with their loved ones.
Just because things are harder doesn’t mean they can’t get better.
Altogether it’s not surprising if you feel exhausted, emotionally and mentally depleted, and are struggling to find ways forward. It has been a heavy year and you have every right to feel that way. If anything, what I always find surprising, is just how resilient human beings are. We are surviving this marathon with very little or no preparation. I think that is pretty remarkable.
So although it’s okay if you don’t always feel okay, what can you do to make the coming months a bit more manageable? As part of this lockdown mini-series, I will be discussing topics and strategies that can help during this period. These include learning to cope with uncertainty, cultivating compassion for yourself and others, and actively dealing with your emotions. I believe these can be helpful throughout your life but are especially relevant in these difficult times. So keep your eyes peeled!
Marathon Mindset
For now, start by adopting a marathon mindset – slow and steady. Inexperienced runners often make the mistake of running too fast at the start of the race and quickly run out of steam. Many of us started lockdown in a similar fashion: we threw everything we had at it. We Marie Kondoed our apartments, hosted games nights on zoom, took online courses, became Nigella in the kitchen, started an indoor garden, and picked up a new hobby. Eight months later, we’re understandably unmotivated and uninspired.
So start small by creating routines and rituals which are restorative, soothing, and make you feel good. This could include a relaxing bedtime routine, getting outside (if possible) for some movement and natural light, clearing your mind with journaling, hydrating with a cup of tea, or being creative. They do not need to be fancy or last for hours, simply nourish you in whichever way you need (e.g. emotionally, socially, physically, or spiritually). Then build these into your days in a way that is sustainable so that they can sustain you through this marathon.
“You can run a sprint or you can run a marathon, but you can’t sprint a marathon.”
In the next post in this lockdown mini-series, I’ll be discussing emotions and how you can actively acknowledge and address them so that they do not build-up. In the meantime, you can find more well-being and self-help content on my Instagram account and please share this post if you enjoyed it!